


A Pretty Odd Romance

by chrendon



Category: Glee
Genre: Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-04
Updated: 2013-02-11
Packaged: 2017-11-28 05:35:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/670860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrendon/pseuds/chrendon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a strange turn of events, Sebastian and Kurt just happen to meet up again, this time both of them in places they don’t want to be. Kurt is dealing with a dead relationship, and Sebastian is lonely and ready to settle down. The question is, who will make what sacrifices so they’re both happy? (Kurtbastian Bigbang entry)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Oh, How It's Been So Long

**Author's Note:**

> I know I’m supposed to put up everything at once, but there have been some complications, so for that I apologize! I will be posting a masterpost once all chapters are posted on my Tumblr and LJ. This is based around the album “Pretty. Odd.” by Panic! At The Disco, and you don’t need to listen to it while reading, but it might seem fitting if you choose to. This is my 2012-13 Kurtbastian Bigbang entry. It was a lot of fun, and I’d like to thank my beta, kurtkieran, and my artist, mysnarkyself.
> 
> Art can be found here: /works/670592
> 
> (if you'd like to read somewhere else, my Tumblr is chrendon and my LJ is 1millreasons)

Kurt smiled to himself and looked over to the dusty shelf. Memories washed over him with every inhale of his old apartment. The space was small and almost everything was either broken or coated in a fine layer of dust, but he could never part with any of it. He felt his eyes grow wet as he picked up the frame that stood lonely on the shelf. He ran a finger along the swirling vine design that was on the frame and felt his heart constrict. The picture was his favorite; Him, Sebastian, Blaine, Rachel, Finn – even Burt and Carole were in there. He was happy in the picture. His face glowed with pride and what could only be described as pure love as his family held him. Everyone looked _joyful_. He remembered the crisp feel that day, the fall leaves crunching under his foot – even the laughter still rung in his ears after all these years. Kurt almost giggled himself, it was so infectious. He felt a warm glow make his way into his heart while he looked at the picture. His eyes flicked upon the silver band wrapped around his ring finger.   
  
Suddenly, all the warmth left the room. He felt cold, alone again. Kurt felt his heart drop. He still had the ring. The ring that haunted him every time he looked at it. The reason he was here in the first place. 

\---- 

It was a regular day for Kurt Hummel: dodging people in the streets and running around New York City. He glanced at his watch and thought for a moment while still walking (having memorized his daily routine), and decided he had just enough time to grab coffee. Looking up, he spotted a small café on the corner of the street – one he had never been to before. The building caught his interest. He had been to almost every coffee shop in New York, running back and forth during lunch hour to find the best brew. So he started walking towards it. The name of the place was scrawled in cursive on the green awning, something he couldn’t quite read until he stood directly in front of the place. 

_Pretty. Odd_ ., it read, and Kurt could only scoff at the accurateness of the name. It stood to the side, small compared to the towering skyscrapers and noisy chain restaurants that surrounded it, but standing out between them, too. It was a small café that didn’t seem very busy in New York, where everyone actually lived on coffee. Kurt thought about just passing it by, but he couldn’t help but be drawn to it and the stark contrast it brought to busy 

Columbus Avenue    
, so he entered.

The interior was cozy, a dull color scheme that made Kurt’s designer fingers itch with the need to throw some color into the room, but it still made a comfortable warmth spread throughout him – a relief on the cold, winter day. There was a fine buzz of chatter – something Kurt was very acquainted to and sometimes missed in the quiet moments he and Blaine had when they were both working – that somehow added to the homey effect. Glowing Christmas lights were strung up already, almost the only source of light. Kurt smiled. It reminded him of his dad and how he would always decorate for his mother’s favorite holiday the minute they had said their thanks over a steaming turkey. 

Kurt checked his watch again. It was a nasty habit, always having to be somewhere. His dad once told him – during one of his and Blaine’s annual visits to Lima – that he “needed to enjoy himself more” and “stop worrying all the damn time” because apparently, his was limited. It was great advice, but not something Kurt would take, or follow. He was too precise. One of the many things he had learned from New York   
was that people don’t wait. So why risk being late? Most didn’t believe in his philosophy, but most of those people were struggling to hold onto a job, let alone their house, so their arguments were invalid in Kurt’s mind. 

He glanced up at the menu that hung above the cash register. Right away he spotted his order and, reciting the words in his head, stepped up in line with a smile and a twenty to his name. “Hi, could I get a Grande Nonfat Mocha for Hummel?” 

He chastised himself quietly. The whole goal of coming to New York was to try new things; new drinks, new people, new opportunities – but it just seemed like Lima, Ohio all over again, only in a more decorated and glamorous way. Standing in other people’s spotlights instead of creating one for himself, taking to the same approach as always. He wasn’t a changed person. Maybe a more _cultured_ person, but he was still the same Kurt Hummel he thought he had left in Lima. The realization hit him suddenly, waiting for his coffee in a coffee shop ironically called _Pretty. Odd.._ The realization that his dad was right. He needed to let go. 

“Hummel?” 

His head snapped up as a barista called out his name. He grabbed the coffee, paid, and decided, for once in his life, to sit and wait until his lunch hour was spent. He would start living today. 

Hoisting his bag up higher on his shoulder, Kurt walked with a new air about him. That was, until, he ran into a hard body. Before he could register the shock of bumping into this stranger, the searing pain of hot coffee spilling down his chest, soaking his designer shirt, took over his senses. On instinct, he reached out to grab on to something – in fear of falling or to distract from the burning he didn't know – and ended up gripping his assaulter’s biceps, which, if he had to admit, were very nice. Trying not to scream, Kurt clamped his teeth and hissed, closing his eyes as he imagined how his chest must look. 

“Fuck, I’m so sorry. Here let’s just go into the bathroom – shit that must burn,” the man said. Something inside Kurt stirred then – a sense of familiarity. He knew that voice. Low and a little scratchy, similar to Santana’s, a voice that he swore he had heard before. While breathing in to try and calm himself, he was assaulted with a wall of the man’s scent: a mix of cinnamon, aftershave that Kurt actually liked, and something that reminded Kurt of home. 

Before he could observe anything else or even look at the man’s face, he was being pulled through the café by his arm. Normally, Kurt would never let a stranger clean him up (he had learned exactly how to perfect the job himself from all the slushies), but this time it felt different. The man gripping his arm seemed like a nice enough man. Besides, not many people in New York were nice enough to help you clean up after spilling coffee on you, let alone apologize for doing it. 

They made their way into the bathroom. It was nice and similar to the café, giving Kurt a feeling of warmth and utter happiness. The man spoke again, “I’m so sorry – I wasn’t looking where I was going and, fuck, I’m an idiot.” 

Finally, slowly, Kurt lifted his eyes. Blue clashed with green, their gazes meeting each others as they both figured out who they were. Kurt’s eyes widened as they flicked down for a second to examine the man’s body. It was almost the same as he remembered, except, instead of a popped up collar on a striped shirt, he was faced with the man he once knew as an enemy in a black suit – save for the smear of foam from their crash. 

“Smythe?” 

“Kurt?” 

\----- 

After the whole ordeal was pushed aside – Kurt having changed into a new shirt he luckily had on hand – they had both agreed to sit and share a coffee. They couldn't deny the obvious tension that crackled between them, but they were willing to push it aside in favor of talking like the adults they were. Despite all hardships and animosity they had experienced in the past, they were talking. It almost felt weird, having an honest conversation with Sebastian after all this time, but it was pleasant. Kurt couldn’t ignore the strange looks the man kept giving him – almost as if he was disappointed. Involuntarily, Kurt glanced at his phone clock. He had exactly 13 minutes and 20 seconds until his break was up. 

“What, am I boring you?” 

  


Kurt looked up again, startled out of his sudden work mode that overtook him. It was a habit – a stupid habit that he had not twenty minutes ago promised he would break. What could he say? Kurt Hummel was a sucker for tradition. 

“Oh no, no. just...a habit. An old habit.” 

Sebastian stared at him for a moment. It was a look Kurt could only place as disbelief. It reminded him of Blaine in some weird way. He made a mental note to call him later – tell him he loved him. 

“Doesn’t seem like an old habit. But, figures you’d be the work-a-holic type. You always were a control freak, even in high school. Even with Blaine.” 

Kurt sighed. There was the Sebastian he knew. “I was not!” He pouted a bit, bringing his fresh cup of coffee to his lips and sipping. 

“Yes you were. As I recall, you would fight with me just to keep him.” Sebastian smirked and it made Kurt furious. The smirk always did it for him, sent him over the edge. It was like a switch in him had been pulled and the old Kurt was coming back, slowly making his way to the surface as he stared down at Sebastian. 

“First of all, you were openly flirting with him right in front of me. What else was I supposed to do? Second, Blaine loved the whole possessive thing. Ate it right up. He would forget about you in a flash once I started–” 

“Claiming your territory?” 

“Exactly.” 

Sebastian sent him a wink. A wink that Kurt almost scowled at. Almost. Scowling gave you wrinkles.   
  
“So tell me…how are you and the hobbit? Still going strong or is it long gone?” Sebastian mock-pouted and Kurt swore he could see red filling his vision. 

“Thank you for asking, Sebastian,” Kurt drawled. “but that’s none of your business.” 

“Ah, so you broke up.” 

Kurt blinked. He opened and closed his mouth, searching for the right words. “I – we – no–!” 

“Well then why isn’t it my business?” 

Kurt paused. He and Blaine hadn’t broken up – not exactly. They had an on/off relationship. He didn’t know why he didn’t want Sebastian knowing that. Maybe it was because only a few years ago he had tried to steal Blaine from him. But honestly, Kurt could care less if Blaine was his or not. It was a revelation that had shocked him one morning when Blaine was gone and he didn’t care. It took too much effort to care. Too much precious time was spent wasted on wondering where Blaine was, or if he was cheating again, if he was just studying, if he missed Kurt. So he just stopped caring, but Blaine had not. The boy was obsessed with him. If he was home late by even a minute, Blaine would scream at him and tell him if he didn’t love him. He would even ask Kurt why they were still together, too. It usually ended with Blaine   
sleeping on the couch while Kurt reminded himself that he was above all his childish antics and that he still loved Blaine, even if it wasn’t believable at times. Maybe that was why they were still together. 

“I…don’t know.” 

Sebastian just nodded. The simple movement annoyed Kurt. Like Sebastian just knew they were having problems. Like he prided himself in it. It was sick. 

“Look, I have to go. I have a deadline,” Kurt stood. Suddenly he was regretting ever coming to this damn coffee shop. Even if their lattes were fantastic. 

He heard a chair move across the floor, and then large, comforting hands were on his shoulders, spinning him around. Once again he was face-to-face with Sebastian, and it took all power in him not to cry, run, or scream. He had gotten to New York to escape the torment. And yet here it was, taking the form of Sebastian Smythe and standing right in front of him. 

“Can I…Will I see you again?” 

Sebastian's sad, pouty face actually looked genuine, and it caused Kurt to sigh and run a hand through his hair. He grimaced at the way it flopped back down on his forehead. He needed to get it cut later. “I don’t know, but I have to go. Thanks for the coffee.” 

He held up his empty cup as closure and walked out of _Pretty. Odd._ , bidding his goodbye to the café as he was not coming back. He couldn’t even bear the thought of turning around to see Sebastian's expression as he melted into the crowd flooding Manhattan. He pushed his way through a sea of people and he was once again just as confused, trying to survive. And here he thought New York was going to change all of that. How foolish of him. 


	2. Your Eyes Are The Size of The Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a strange turn of events, Sebastian and Kurt just happen to meet up again, this time both of them in places they don’t want to be. Kurt is dealing with a dead relationship, and Sebastian is lonely and ready to settle down. The question is, who will make what sacrifices so they’re both happy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2nd chapter! Again, sorry for these being separate. My beta and I both have hectic personal lives. Once again, I’ll post a masterpost of all the chapters once they’re out to the Kurtbastian Bigbang community! Once again, thank you kurtkieran, and mysnarkyself!
> 
> (art and other fic links can be found on the first chapter)

The first thing he noticed when he walked in to his and Blaine’s apartment was a pungent smell. He couldn’t quite place what it was, but as soon as he did, he recognized it within a heartbeat (thank god for his curious stage in college). The air was thick with it. Then, he heard laughing. Not just Blaine’s laugh, but another person’s laugh, too. A man’s laughter. A man that was not Kurt. 

Kurt made his way down the hallway that opened into the living room (well, if a living room counted as the room in the center of their closed off bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen) and set his bag down while watching Blaine bring a joint up to his lips and inhale, locking his eyes with the man he had heard laughing with him. He recognized him as Blaine’s old time friend, Eli Coughlin, and Kurt had to hold onto the counter in front of him to calm his sudden rage. He was glad Blaine had friends, but when his friends were assholes that insulted Kurt and flirted with Blaine right in front of him, he couldn’t help but hate whenever they got near Blaine. Eli was one of those friends. And when Blaine was high, it just made him that much more vulnerable to anyone around him. 

Finally, Blaine saw him and started waving at him. His eyes were wide and wild. He tended to act like a puppy with caffeine when he was hopped up on drugs or alcohol. 

“Kurt! Hey, you’re here! Come join us!” 

He passed the rolled up joint to Eli, the man laughing at Blaine’s enthusiasm. Their books sat in front of them on the couch, a few papers and pencils strewn across the coffee table. What really made Kurt’s eye twitch was the way Eli looked at Blaine; like he was some piece of meat up for sale. It disgusted Kurt, but last time he commented on it to Blaine, he was accused of being jealous. It was technically true, but Kurt still didn’t like being criticized for caring. 

He held his hands up, lifted his eyebrows, and answered, “No, thank you. I have so much work to get done tonight. Sketches, samples…Amanda really laid it on me today.” 

Blaine’s eyes fell, and a pang of guilt hit Kurt in the gut. He didn’t mind being around Blaine – he just didn’t like being around Blaine _and_ the man who was interested in him. He reminded Kurt of Sebastian. _The old Sebastian_ , his brain reminded him. Kurt would’ve slapped himself if it wouldn’t have looked so weird. 

“Okay. Hey, I’ll see you in a bit. We’re just going to finish this one up,” he held the joint up, “and then get this studying out of the way. Then I’ll be in and we can…yeah.” 

Blaine gave a dopey smile and turned back to Eli to pass him the joint, and Kurt turned his back on them to walk to the bedroom. He had no work to do, so he sat and went on his computer to look up the times _Pretty. Odd._ was open. 


	3. Send For All Your Absent Lover's Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a strange turn of events, Sebastian and Kurt just happen to meet up again, this time both of them in places they don’t want to be. Kurt is dealing with a dead relationship, and Sebastian is lonely and ready to settle down. The question is, who will make what sacrifices so they’re both happy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3! Thank you to those on who have left positive feedback! Once again, thank you to me lovely beta kurtkieran, and mysnarkyself.
> 
> Extra warnings: Angst and more dickhead Eli

Kurt had the day off the next day, but, Blaine didn’t. He had to go to a meeting of sorts for fencing that would last a couple of hours, and there was nothing in their apartment that could entertain Kurt for that span of time. So he decided to go back t _Pretty. Odd._ , just this once. He had to keep telling himself that he was doing it for the amazing coffee, and not because he wanted to see if Sebastian would be there. 

Once back on Columbus and having spotted the familiar building he was drawn to, Kurt pushed the clear door open, and an overwhelming feeling of home washing over him like the last time, warm air making his cold nose sting as it thawed. He smiled and breathed in the smell of fresh coffee that was almost orgasmic to his sleepy mind, and on command his legs brought him up to the counter. The barista smiled at him, and he smiled back. As he opened his mouth to say his usual order, a hand on his shoulder stopped him. In the back of his mind he already knew who it was, but instinct made him turn around and come face-to-face with Sebastian, this time dressed less formally and with less steamed milk. 

“He’ll have an Iced Latte, and I’ll have a low-fat Caramel Macchiato. On me.” 

Kurt tried to speak, he did, but all he could do was gape and nod dumbly to the barista to confirm his order. Something inside of him made him trust Sebastian and it made him feel weird. If you had asked Kurt not a week ago if he would actually want to spend time with Sebastian _the_ ebastian fro _high school_ , he would have probably laughed. But now, it was like Kurt was drawn to him. He almost wanted to give him a second chance. Scratch that, h _needed_ o give him a second chance. Second chances were all he had now with Blaine getting high with old flames, people he knew bothered Kurt. 

He finally snapped out of his inner monologue when the barista handed him his coffee, a confused and worried look on her face. Kurt grabbed it and thanked her, moving for his wallet, but before he could get anywhere near his pants pocket, Sebastian grabbed him by the elbow and ushered him to a table in the back that hid them from everyone coming in. It still had a beautiful window in which they could people watch, though. 

Sebastian leaned in and told him, “I told you, dummy. It’s on me,” which made Kurt get a terrible flash of déjà vu that was too familiar for comfort. But, alas, he pushed it aside in favor of nodding his thanks to Sebastian, once again struck speechless by the whole ordeal, and took a long sip from his iced latte. 

Sebastian moved to the one side of the table, gesturing for Kurt to sit across from him on the leather-bound chair. Kurt did and stared down at his coffee. It was like Sebastian read his mind when he said, “I thought you might have liked it. I mean, this place has amazing drinks, so it’s better than that McDonald's shit. If you don’t like it I can get you another one.” 

Kurt looked up. Their eyes met, and for a second Kurt could’ve sworn he felt bad for storming out the other day. “No it’s…fine.” He said nothing more and looked down to the table once again. His pale finger trailed the design etched onto the table, a few swirls that turned into little vines, brown beans growing off of them. He could’ve rolled his eyes at the cliché and blatant display that this was indeed a coffee shop, but he had a feeling it wouldn’t suit the tension that still hung heavy in the air around them. Kurt didn’t like Sebastian before, but now he had no idea how he felt. It was as if in maturing, Sebastian couldn’t let go of his asshole high school self that irked Kurt constantly. Kurt had to decide if he didn’t mind that guy coming out occasionally or not. 

“Okay. Good. So, um…I know this is going to sound…weird, but...I’m glad you came?” Sebastian chuckled and Kurt couldn’t stop the smile that spread on his face. It was only a matter of time before one of them mentioned their past high school lives. 

“Well, the coffe _is_ retty good…” Kurt lifted his head from where it had dropped to stare back down at his cup. He lifted an eyebrow and soon the silence shifted from awkward to understanding. Kurt missed that feeling, especially with Blaine. For a second his mind thought up a pretty little image of him kissing Sebastian, running his hands down the man’s body. It only took a second for him to correct himself ( _bad Kurt, Sebastian is_ friend _nd you have_ boyfriend), but the thought still lingered no matter how inappropriate it was. But who could blame him – Sebastian wasn’ _unattractive_. 

They sat there, in their new-found comfortable air just sipping coffee and small talking. Only when Kurt’s phone buzzed with an unfamiliar number did he realize how long they had been chatting. Somehow, he didn’t care. It was like he had been freed – if only for just an hour and a half – from the tight hold his life had on him. It was only when he got that phone call, among their conversation, that he remembered Blaine. Blaine, who was doing something somewhere without him, maybe with other guys. He picked up his phone. 

“Hello?” 

“Kurt? Hey.” Eli. “Can you, um, unlock your door?” 

Something Kurt would dub curiosity made him agree, no questions asked. He wanted to hear the excuse. He wanted to hear Blaine beg for his forgiveness. Kurt wanted Blaine to know he had other options too, and he was goddamn worth some thing – worth paying attention to and worth his feelings being heard. Kurt turned to Sebastian. 

“I have to–” 

“Go? I know.” 

“Sebastian–” 

The man shrugged and the hood to his light blue jacket bounced. Kurt had another vision of him wearing that hoodie in Sebastian’s bed, unti, once again, he remembered he had a closet-full of his boyfriend’s hoodies which were just a little too small on him and were usually itchy cashmere. 

Kurt looked down to his feet. “Are you sure you don’t want me to at least pitch in a bit?” 

When he lifted his eyes again, Sebastian was smiling at him. He realized that when Sebastian smiled (and not in the obnoxious I’m-better-than-you way), it lit up the whole goddamn room. Perhaps even all of New York. It was infectious in a way that attacked you all at once, and it was like his smile overtook all your muscles and forced you to smile with him. The only time Kurt had felt the actual need to mirror someone else’s facial expressions because he just coul _not_ , was when he first met Blaine, and how happy he had been when that happened. 

“If you don’t get out of here now that person waiting at your door is going to get impatient,” Sebastian said. 

Kurt nodded and lef _Pretty. Odd._ , this time with a little voice in the back of his head telling him he was probably going to be coming back in the next few days. For once, Kurt agreed with the voice. 

\------ 

When he got up to his and Blaine’s apartment, Eli was leaning against the door in a leather jacket and sunglasses, even though he wa _indoors_. Kurt didn’t even let him speak before he was pushing him out of the way to unlock it. 

“What do you want, Eli? I don’t know where Blaine is, so if that’s what you’re here for, you might as well leave.” 

“Relax, sweetheart. I’m not here to steal him away – I don’t need to. But I do need a few things fo _him_.” 

Kurt stopped dead in the threshold of their apartment. He turned on his heel slowly, only to face a smirking Eli. Kurt had a desire to smack it right off his face, but he needed the little shit to tell him what the hell was going on before he knocked the teeth right out of his mouth. “What th _hell_ oes that mean?” 

Eli stepped closer into the apartment so he was crowded in Kurt’s personal space. Kurt scowled at him. He knew Kurt didn’t like people (especially people who wer _dicks_ ) invading his personal space. 

“Well,” Eli began, “a little birdie – a former Warbler, to be exact – told me his boyfriend wasn’t treating him right, poor thing. So, he asked to stay with me instead, for the time being. Which, by the looks of it, might happen to be a while.” 

Kurt couldn’t move. He couldn’t feel his legs, his arms felt like dead weights, and his vision was going blurry. How could this happen? Blaine was the one that should be here having to face him. Who ever Kurt sent – no, he wouldn’t send for someone, he would man up and come here his goddamn self. Kurt treated Blaine like royalty. He put Blaine on a fucking pedestal, and what did he get? Some douche knocking on his door and asking for Blaine’s stuff? 

The room was silent for a long time. Kurt felt his face heat up. This meant nothing. They were just in a rut. They’d be fine. They had to be fine. They were Kurt and Blaine, they would be fine. But there was still a lingering thought that they wouldn’t be fine. Blaine had cheated before, and those were in better situations. Kurt felt the first wave of tears build high behind his eyes, but he pushed them back long enough to snap his head back up to Eli, rage written clear on his face. 

“Listen here. I don’t know what your problem with people being happy is, but you need to stop interfering with mine and Blaine’s relationship. Blaine doesn’t need you to tell him how to act. You were the one who provoked him anyway, and I don’t know what kind of stupid game you’ve got going on behind my back, and frankly, I could care less at this point–” 

Eli cut him off. “But Kurt, don’t you see? That’s why he’d choose me over you. You’ve lost faith in your relationship that was, honestly, dead from the start. And I don’t tell Blaine how to act. I just show him how much better his life could be withou _you_. What h _choose_ to do is not up to me.” Eli folded his hands and leaned back against the door, like he was enjoying a show. Kurt scowled at him. 

“What’s your goal here, huh? Do you just hate me? Do you want to see me miserable?” 

“My goal, dear Kurt, is to see my friend Blaine, happy. If getting there means helping him break a few hearts along the way, then I’m still inclined to help.” Eli lifted his hands, feigning innocence. “Now, may I please get his things? I’d love to see Blaine naked in my bed, but I think it’s a bit too early for that. Plus I wouldn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable.” Eli hissed the last word in Kurt’s face, and it took every ounce of self control that Kurt had not to push him out of his face. 

“I want to talk to him.” Kurt turned to where Eli was pulling open random drawers. It was laughable how confused he looked. 

“No can do.” After opening the third drawer of DVDs with an annoyed scowl, Eli turned to Kurt to continue their conversation as if he hadn’t just been struggling to find anything. It surprised Kurt, seeing as Eli spent almost every day at their (his?) apartment. 

Kurt put a hand on his hip and rolled his eyes. “Why not? Can’t I talk to my own boyfriend? And, okay, who said you get to decide who he can and can’t talk to?” 

“Never said he was still your boyfriend.” 

“Okay, well then let me talk to him so I can find out what’s going on!” 

Eli sighed and looked around the small space that was 15E. “Tell you what. Since I can’t find a goddamn thing in this hellhole, you bring around some things Blaine likes or needs or whatever, and you can talk to him for as long as he’s comfortable with. Deal? Now will you stop bugging me?” 

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows together. It was a generous deal (or at least for Eli standards) and he wanted to know why Blaine had just gone up and left. A conversation as to where they stood would be nice, too. He wasn’t going down without a fight, although, Eli’s little protecting speech a while ago had brought down his confidence that Blaine would come jumping back into his arms. When he lifted his eyes form where they had dropped to follow the patterns in the rug he brought back from Lima, Eli was in front of him, putting his sunglasses back on. 

“I’ll take that as a yes. So I’ll call you or something, tell you when he’s okay with seeing you. Ya know, respecting boundaries like a good friend, something some of us are apparently incapable o _doing_.” 

Kurt walked to the door, pushing Eli along with him. The man protested little, and Kurt got in a quick, “Goodbye Eli,” before slamming the door in his face. 

The rest of the night he tried packing Blaine’s things, but he couldn’t get one cardigan or bowtie in without having a breakdown. It was like Blaine had this elastic hold on him, and whenever he got too far away, it felt like it would snap, so Kurt panicked. He was so confused and tired and his emotions were out of control, so Kurt decided to sleep it off, though it didn’t prove much use since it took him about five hours to stop thinking about Blaine and actually shut his eyes. When he did though, he fell into a deep slumber filled with images of Blaine and him, happy and young and hopeful, their relationship new and love blind. Kurt woke up to a cold bed though, despite his warm dreams. 


	4. If The World Were Ending Would You Kiss Me or Just Leave Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a strange turn of events, Sebastian and Kurt just happen to meet up again, this time both of them in places they don’t want to be. Kurt is dealing with a dead relationship, and Sebastian is lonely and ready to settle down. The question is, who will make what sacrifices so they’re both happy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been told this is very sad by my good friend and beta, kurtkieran. Watch out ;) Also, welcome to the story, Hunter Clarington. Let's hope you're not as douche-y as Eli. Thank you mysnarkyself for the amazing graphic!
> 
> Extra warnings: Angst, angst, and lots of angst.

If the world were ending would you kiss me or just leave me? 

That morning while at work, Kurt’s secretary told him he had a guy waiting to talk to him – someone she didn’t recognize, which was concerning seeing as how Kimberly somehow knew everyone who called for Kurt. When he picked up using his usual greeting, “Hello, Kurt Hummel speaking, how may I help you?” he frowned at the voice that spoke back to him. 

“Come over at 9. I’ll be out, per Blaine’s request. Don’t forget his things. I doubt he’ll be coming back with you,” Eli hung up before Kurt could comment, leaving him reeling for the rest of his shift. 

\----- 

When his day was over, Kurt realized he had over four hours left, no one to come home to, and a bad case of bored-out-of-his-mind with a hint of disorientation to this whole ordeal. His long-term boyfriend just left for an old – and speculated current – flame, and now Kurt was taking orders from said flame, as if he was some sort of chaperone. He needed to feel important, like he was worth something despite what the past events made him think. Blaine couldn’t just leave him like that; he knew Blaine cared about him. That was what made the whole thing so infuriating, among other things. 

After a good half an hour of sorting out his thoughts, Kurt settled on going to what was quickly becoming his favorite café. Maybe it would help him get his mind off of things. He doubted Sebastian would be there, but something inside of him wished he would. It wasn’t like Kurt could just call him up, which, was a dumb move on both of their parts. It was obvious, whether they liked it or not, that they were quickly becoming acquainted with each other. Even though all their time together had been dedicated to their pasts and catching up, Kurt was still curious about what had happened to Sebastian these past few years. He hadn’t heard much, other than the fact that Sebastian was interning at some law firm while studying at NYU, which he apparently did not enjoy. 

_Sebastian scowled and picked up his drink. “Yeah. I mean, my dad’s been an attorney since… forever. He was always stressed and I guess it rubbed off on me. I’ve always wanted to make him proud… maybe see him smile, you know?”_

__

_Kurt nodded and leaned back. The chairs were surprisingly comfy in a way that made Kurt not want to leave, but he knew he had to. He glanced at his phone quickly, unconsciously, but Sebastian's voice broke him out of his trance._

__

_“What, am I boring you?”_

With thoughts and confusion clouding his mind, Kurt stepped into _Pretty. Odd._ He noticed a few things while stepping in. First, there was no Sebastian; no surprise there. People studying, nonetheless law, usually didn’t have much time on their hands. Then he noticed a surprising amount of people in the café, all of them, for some reason, having gravitated towards a stage that Kurt had saw last time he had visited. He could only assume that some poetry reading or karaoke event was being held, and as much as he loved hearing people hyped up on caffeine singing without even the slightest of tone, or some girl snapping her fingers to a drum beat while she read of her rhyming struggles, he figured it would be much more interesting if there was someone with him. Without anyone, he just felt alone and… well, _alone_. There was no other way to describe it. And since he couldn’t really call up Rachel – who would find a way to spin this whole thing to her – he had no one. 

Kurt heard the starting of a beat he didn’t recognize then. It was weird, since it was only 5 o’clock, but he figured that must be when the starving artists came out of their holes and decided to bug tourists who found their ambition endearing. Kurt himself found them to be annoying beggars, so he got in line and hoped to get out of there as soon as he could to avoid them, and possibly salvage his ears from torment. He looked up at the board, trying to block out the beats that were coming from his left, but didn’t succeed when the performer started singing a slowed down version of a song he had heard on the radio a long time ago. 

“ _Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby, let me know, girl I'm gonna show you how to do it,_

_and we start real slow. You just put your lips together and you come real close, can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby… here we go._ ” 

Kurt was caught in a trance. The man’s voice was amazing, or, at least better than some singers Kurt had heard in coffee shops. But he had this kind of arrogant tone to him like he knew how good he was. Kurt rolled his eyes. What he hated more than unsuccessful people asking for money in exchange for a song was successful people asking for money by flaunting their “wonderful voice.” 

“Sir?” 

Kurt snapped his head in front of him. The barista was looking at him with a quizzical expression. He flushed and wondered how long she had been waiting, while he rattled off his usual order, silently cursing his fear of change. 

Once Kurt got his drink, the song was over and the young man – no older than him, – who had sung the song was done and sitting at a booth. Kurt walked over and simply stood, waiting for the man to look up. 

“May I help you?” He said, without even stopping to glance at Kurt. He kept scribbling in his notebook, but also kept a firm hand over his words so Kurt couldn’t see what he was writing. 

“You can. Kurt Hummel,” Kurt held out his hand. The man stopped and looked up at him with wide eyes and a small smile, but he didn’t return Kurt’s handshake. Kurt, apathetic to the man’s rudeness having lived in New York for the past five years, put his hand back down and continued. “You’re good. But you also know you’re good, which therefore does not make you good. Get that?” 

“You’re Kurt Hummel.” 

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows. “And you’re weird. How do you know who I am? Because I’m pretty sure I don’t know who you are.” 

The man stood up and grabbed Kurt’s hand. His first instinct was to pull away (he didn’t even know this guy, and you could never be too sure in New York), but he was frozen in place when he said, “Yes, I’m Hunter Clarington. You dated my rival and are flirting with my roommate. It’s a pleasure to meet the man that’s ruining my life.” 

\------ 

After an hour long conversation with Hunter, Kurt was left with two hours until his encounter with Blaine, and was a little more furious than he was before he walked into _Pretty. Odd._ He called up the memory, still fresh in his mind, to go over what information he had just gathered, while turning another corner and looking at a few coats he couldn’t buy. 

_“So… let me get this straight. You went to Dalton with Sebastian.”_

__

_“Yes.”_

__

_“And you tried to get my boyfriend to come back to Dalton when we had a fallout and I had just moved here.”_

__

_“Mhm…”_

__

_“And now you’re asking me to break up with him and date Sebastian?”_

__

_Hunter paused and looked towards Kurt, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Uh, yes?”_

__

_“Why?”_

__

_Hunter rolled his eyes and sighed (which made it ten times in thirty minutes, and even though Kurt was one for dramatics, it was getting annoying). “You ask a lot of questions. I have no idea why Sebastian would be into you when he could do better.” Kurt couldn’t get a comment in before Hunter was talking again. “I want you to get with my roommate, whether that be sexually or romantically, I have no idea how that works when it’s two guys, so I can stop hearing him whine about how stupid that Anderson kid is and how he’s ‘changed’ you, whatever that means.”_

__

_Kurt felt a little appreciation that Sebastian was worried about him, even though he had no idea what the man meant by ‘changed.’ He was the same Kurt he was in high school, which was exactly his_ problem _. Kurt nodded, ignoring Hunter’s rudeness which he had learned in their time together to just brush off, and held a finger to his lips, trying to process this all. He had known Sebastian for a while now, sure, but they had only just reconnected._

__

_“Look, I don’t know what’s going on between you two, and frankly I could care less. I just want all this talk about friendships and possible relationships gone.” Hunter took out a piece of paper, writing a line of numbers down and handing it to Kurt. “There’s his number. You two have fun.”_

If this Hunter guy was right, Sebastian had a crush on him. He didn’t seem like the most reliable source, though. For all he knew, that could’ve been his stalker that just gave him his own number, or a serial killer’s number. Kurt figured there was one way to find out. He pulled out his phone and entered the number, texting: 

To: 646-555-4874 

Is this by any chance, Sebastian Smythe? Former douche bag, turned law student? 

From: 646-555-4874 

At your service. And how the fuck did you get my number? More importantly, who the fuck are you? 

To: Sebastian Smythe 

It’s Kurt. This guy named Hunter said he was your roommate and gave me your number. 

From: Sebastian Smythe 

Sounds like Hunter. Kurt Hummel? 

To: Sebastian Smythe 

That’s me. 

From: Sebastian Smythe 

I figured as much. Your description of me sounded prissy even through the screen. 

To: Sebastian Smythe 

Yes, quite proud of that one actually. I think I need to rephrase it though; former douche bag law student, turned full-time douche bag who likes to argue with people in judge’s chambers. Fits you nicely, no? 

From: Sebastian Smythe 

Lol, now I get to do you ;) 

Kurt stopped walking for a second and looked down at the text. Was this cheating? Were Blaine and him even a couple? Sebastian just flirted with him, right? So many questions ran through his mind. He couldn’t do this. Not when his relationship was already on the rocks. The fate of his and Blaine’s future was to be determined in just a few hours. He couldn’t jeopardize any chance they had, even if it meant cutting Sebastian out of his life. He barely knew him now anyway, right? What was the harm? 

With that, Kurt shut his phone down right when another text chimed in. He didn’t get to look at it, but he assumed it was Sebastian asking what happened to him. Kurt shoved the phone back in his pocket and walked home, fully intending to waste the rest of the two hours he had watching a movie or baking, and not endangering his already damaged relationship. 

\--- 

Kurt knocked on Eli’s door. The apartment building he was staying in was hideous. The floors were covered with dried splotches of mysterious spotting (Kurt swore he saw a blood stain), and the wallpaper on the building was peeling. Kurt cringed as he knocked. A few dogs barked from somewhere below him, and the thought of even letting a dog near an apartment building had Kurt second guessing this trip. But he needed to go in. If not for him, then for Blaine. 

The door opened to Blaine, tired and hair ruffled. Kurt felt his chest constrict. He forgot how much he missed waking up to that. 

“Hey…Kurt. Uh, Eli said you brought some clothes…?” 

Kurt’s smile dropped. Had Eli not told Blaine he wanted to talk? “Uh, yeah. Can I come in?” 

Blaine looked hesitant at first, his grip on the door tight. After a moment of hesitation, Blaine responded, “Yeah. Sure,” and moved out of the way, gesturing into the apartment. 

The first thing Kurt noticed when he entered was how small it was. Smaller than his and Blaine’s own apartment, and way too small to fit two people who were “just friends.” Kurt pushed back the strong feeling of betrayal he got when he observed these things. He looked down at the bag in his hands, filled with some of Blaine’s favorite clothes. He didn’t want to bring everything, because deep down, past all the hurt and vows to not care, he did care. He wanted Blaine back, _needed_ Blaine back. 

“Do you want a beer? Or something to eat? You can just put my stuff down anywhere. I know there isn’t much food at your apartment, and you hate takeout, so I could cook us some–,” Blaine moved to the fridge and pulled out a beer as he spoke. 

“My apartment?” Kurt couldn’t help interrupting. The punch was so subtle, but it was there, and it hurt like hell. 

Blaine, seeming to realize his mistake, turned back around to face Kurt, his hands held up in the air with two beers in between the fingers of one. “I – Kurt,” Blaine put the beers down and ran both his hands through his hair. “Kurt, listen. You know we can’t do this–” 

Kurt’s face heated up. He moved in towards Blaine, exasperation written on his face. “No, you think we can’t do this. We’ve been doing this for years now, Blaine! We were fine!” 

Blaine’s eyebrows furrowed in a way that Kurt knew meant he was getting angry. He moved in front of Kurt, a small amount of space separating them. “No we weren’t! Look me in the eyes and tell me you were happy.” 

Kurt looked into his hazel eyes. The eyes he had seen on the staircase that day at Dalton, the ones he had fallen in love with, the ones he had woken up to the past few years. He had seen the hurt in his eyes before – with tears threatening to spill over – but this time, the way he looked at Kurt, was much, much worse. “I _was_ happy…” 

“But you aren’t.” 

“Blaine, I _love_ you!” 

Blaine grabbed his shoulders and shook him a bit, “No you don’t, Kurt. You love the boy I used to be. Let’s face it. That boy is gone. I’m different, Kurt, and so are you. We don’t _work_ anymore.” 

“Blaine, we’ve been working for the past _four years_! I’ve watched you grow up, hurt me, hurt _yourself_ , and I still come back. I still came back even after you told me you were with someone. When you said you hated me and never wanted to see me…I still came back. Please, come back. Please,” Kurt felt the first few tears roll down his face and drip off his chin. He knew his face must have looked tired and splotchy, but he didn’t care anymore. All he wanted was for Blaine to hug him and tell him that it was okay, that _they_ were okay. 

“I’m sorry Kurt. It’s over.” 

Blaine didn’t walk away, or let his hands drop from Kurt’s shoulders. Kurt was thankful for that, because if he did, Kurt would’ve probably fallen. It was like his world was crashing down around him, and he was watching it from afar. He was able to see, hear, talk, and scream all he wanted, but he wasn’t allowed to touch. 

Kurt’s head dropped down. He mumbled, “It always has been.” He didn’t mean to sound like a heart-broken teen, but he swore they could work out. When Blaine didn’t say anything, Kurt lifted his head and asked him, “If the world was ending, and everyone was dying, would you love me? Would you change your mind?” 

Blaine didn’t respond and looked into Kurt’s swollen eyes. Kurt took that as his cue to leave and walked out of Eli’s apartment. He said one final statement as he turned to leave. “You know, you’re right. We have changed. Because I would have dropped everything I was doing to be with you.” 

That night, Kurt slept alone, in the middle of the bed. 


	5. Things Have Changed for Me, And That's Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a strange turn of events, Sebastian and Kurt just happen to meet up again, this time both of them in places they don’t want to be. Kurt is dealing with a dead relationship, and Sebastian is lonely and ready to settle down. The question is, who will make what sacrifices so they’re both happy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5! Enjoy! Thank you kurtkieran and mysnarkyself!
> 
> Extra warnings: Drinking (not underage though)

“Sebastian?” 

“Ah, so you _are_ Kurt and not some freak pretending to be Kurt. I haven’t seen you around lately. Did you decide to bail on _Pretty. Odd._? It may be a little rough around the edges, I know, but it really grows–” 

“Blaine broke up with me.” 

“…Oh… I – do you want me to…?” 

“I just – would like someone to talk to. You know.” 

“You could come over? We could… watch a movie or something? I’m sorry, the only experience I’ve had with this is when a girl wouldn’t date Hunter.” 

“No, it’s – that sounds great.” 

“Great! So I’ll, um, text you the address? I’ll kick Hunter out, too. He can go to the library and find something to do.” 

“Sounds like a plan.” 

“Bye, Kurt.” 

“Bye, Sebastian,” Kurt hung up his phone and threw it on the bed next to him. He knew he’d have to get ready in a second, but he decided to wait to get Sebastian's address. His phone chimed seconds later with a new text reading the address. Another message came in, and Kurt checked it. 

From: Sebastian 

Can’t wait to gossip with you about your ex. I can already feel myself becoming a stereotype. 

He started to type a reply – a smile adorning his features for the first time in a few days – when his phone buzzed yet again. 

From: Sebastian 

I hope that didn’t offend you. I was kidding I swear! Really looking forward to it, honest. :) 

To: Sebastian 

You’re being nice and it’s creepy. But I’m looking forward to it, too. I’ll be there in a bit! 

From: Sebastian 

See you then, Kurt. 

Kurt decided that was a good time as any to start getting ready. 

\--- 

Kurt stood outside of Sebastian's door in a simple jacket, jeans, and scarf combo. It took him about 15 minutes to get to his apartment alone, and it had been snowing, much to Kurt’s dismay. He loved the snow and all, but what he didn’t love was thousands of people shoving him on icy roads to try and catch a snowflake with their tongues. His hair had become soaked in the walk, but the apartment building was warm and well-decorated. Kurt knocked once, twice, and the door swung open to reveal…Hunter. 

“Why hello, Kurt. What a coincidence. I assume you’re here to bang my roommate, right?” 

The man smirked and leaned against the door frame. Kurt considered turning around and leaving, but he had dealt with assholes before, and he really wanted to talk to someone. Kurt crossed his arms and shifted his weight, cocking his head as he did. “You wish. I bet you’re into that. You seem like the leering type.” 

Hunter chuckled. “Oh, sure. Because I have nothing better to do then listen to two guys fuck–” 

“Well then why don’t you go do that?” 

“Ladies, ladies!” Sebastian walked up from behind Hunter, his hands held up in mock surrender. He was smiling, but Kurt still glared at Hunter, and the man glared right back. “Let’s calm down. Sorry, I couldn’t get him out. He insisted on “staying and watching,” whatever that means.” 

Kurt, who had broken the little staring contest with Hunter to watch Sebastian talk, turned back to the cocky man and raised an eyebrow. “And you said you weren’t into that…?” 

Hunter looked down and mumbled something along the lines of “shut up,” which got Kurt to smile. Sebastian ushered him inside the apartment – a hand wrapped around his shoulders – and it felt like coming home. 

\--- 

Hunter giggled and poured himself what was now his 6 th glass of wine. “S-s-so,” he paused to giggle again, “h-he _cheated_ , and then said you didn’t _treat him right?_ Oh my fucking god, _dude_!” 

All three of them started laughing, the trio long past buzzed and on the border-line of being drunk out of their minds. They had started out slow, with just some glasses of wine while Sebastian cooked. Kurt and Hunter were arguing about the littlest things when Sebastian broke out the whiskey. Kurt had never been a hard drinker, but Sebastian had said it would help get his mind off of things, and Kurt needed a good distraction. 

“I know,” Kurt slurred out. He reached over and snagged the bottle from Hunter, ignoring the man’s pout when he did. Kurt took a swig and laughed once he swallowed, continuing, “But ‘m kinda glad, ya know? I wasn’t really happy, to be quite honest.” Kurt popped the t’s for emphasis, and, thoroughly distracted, leaned against Sebastian, fascinated by the sound of it. 

Sebastian tried to stand up, but failed and seemingly decided snuggling against Kurt was a better option than falling back down. He leaned his head against Kurt’s took the bottle and, like Kurt, drank from it. “Well that,” he said, “is awesome. Not the breaking up part, because that kinda sucks,” Kurt giggled, “but being okay with it. I guess that’s how you get over it…and shit.” 

“Mhmm…” 

The three men stayed in silence for a while, whatever was playing in the background making the air comfortable. They passed around the wine bottle and giggled over the smallest things until they had a good collection of empty alcohol bottles and it was nearing midnight. 

“I should probably get home now,” Kurt said, making no effort whatsoever to move from his spot wedged in between Hunter and Sebastian. 

Hunter nodded slowly, letting his head bob up and down, his eyes dropping. Sebastian looked to his roommate, then to Kurt and said, “You should stay here. It’s late, and you’re drunk.” 

“That I am. But I don’t have pajamas or anything,” Kurt pointed out. 

Sebastian just shrugged. “You can, like, sleep in your boxers or something. And since Hunter is probably gonna pass out here, I don’t think he’d mind if you slept in his bed.” 

Kurt nodded and stood up. Typically, the time it took him to get ready for bed was long, but while intoxicated, made everything twice as long. Kurt decided to skip the shower and brush his teeth (they were just formalities anyway, his brain reminded him. It wasn’t true, but he was tired and he didn’t want to do anything but sleep) in favor of just jumping into Hunter’s bed. It wasn’t made, and it smelled a little funky, but it was soft and warm, and Kurt found himself dozing. 

“…and the bathroom is just down there – Kurt?” 

Kurt – who refused to open his eyes – mumbled, “Yes Sebastian?” 

“Did you get any of that?” 

“No.” 

Sebastian chuckled. “If you need anything I’m right across the hall, okay? Don’t throw up in Hunter’s bed. He’ll claw your eyes out.” 

Kurt smiled. He heard Sebastian walking away, and, without thinking, Kurt called out, “Hey ‘Bas?” 

“Mhm?” 

“’M glad that…You’re here.” 

“That’s good. I would hope you don’t still hate me when you’re sleeping in my apartment.” 

He could hear the teasing in Sebastian's voice, but Kurt didn’t mean it as a joke. “No. I’m serious. Thanks for helping me with all this change. I don’t know if I would be able to do it without you.” 

They were both silent for a long stretch of time, the air comfortable and buzzing with tension. Then, when Kurt had decided that Sebastian had probably left at some point during the quiet, he spoke out, “I…I think you could. It’s not that hard, Kurt – to change.” 

Kurt turned on his side, so he was presumably facing Sebastian, even though his eyes were still closed. “Things are changing. And I’m okay with it. I think that’s called progress of some sorts.” 

“Goodnight Kurt.” 

The door shut and Kurt let his body succumb him to sleep. 


	6. You Remind Me of a Former Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a strange turn of events, Sebastian and Kurt just happen to meet up again, this time both of them in places they don’t want to be. Kurt is dealing with a dead relationship, and Sebastian is lonely and ready to settle down. The question is, who will make what sacrifices so they’re both happy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, but some personal things came up. I hope you’re all enjoying the story, though! Thank you to my beta, kurtkieran, and the artist, mysnarkyself!
> 
> Extra warnings: Breakdowns, and playfulness. Also heated up things between Kurt + Sebastian.

“Ugh.” 

Kurt stares at his hands, willing the pounding in his head to go away. However — as if sticking to his bad week — the headache stays, and so does Kurt. Moving hurt. 

He heard Sebastian chuckle, and — dumbly — shot his head up to follow the sound. The sharp pain that shot through him reminded him how impulses aren’t always _that_ good. Kurt hissed and ran his fingers through his hair, asking himself why he drank so much last night. And _why_ wasn’t Sebastian doubled over in pain, because, if Kurt was correct, the man had drunk just as much as he had, more or less. 

“You’re not really a morning person, are you?” 

Kurt glared at Sebastian through hooded eyes. He recognized the man’s smirk, which made Kurt sink further into his chair. He didn’t need the teasing; at least, not yet. “Ha ha, very funny. You’re a real comedian, aren’t you.” 

Sebastian sat back in his chair and raised his eyebrows. “Wow. Bitter. You’d think that after years of a sucky relationship you would get used to hard liquor.” 

Kurt just grumbled, not bothering to form a snippy comeback or even respond. He wondered if the Advil Sebastian had given him been really Advil or just a placebo to get Kurt to shut up. Either way, it wasn’t working. 

“Well I see someone can’t hold his arsenic,” Kurt didn’t even bother to turn towards Hunter, who he guessed was just waking up, but he was so out of it, it was very possible Hunter had just been watching him and Sebastian squabble. Either way, when Hunter took the coffee Sebastian had just set out for Kurt, he was more than pissed off at him. 

Kurt whimpered when he saw Hunter was also in no pain, sipping _his_ coffee smugly, no pity for Kurt. “Coffee…?” He asked. He couldn’t tell if Hunter was trying to cover up his laughing — badly, he might add — because it was directed at him, or because it would hurt Kurt’s head. He had a feeling it was the former. 

“Aw, I’m sorry, baby. Also sorry I forced that whiskey down your throat last night.” 

Pushing Hunter's sarcasm aside, Kurt looked to Sebastian. “Can you make another one?” to which the man replied with a sigh and a defeated look as he moved towards the coffee pot again. 

“Hey, we should go out. Like, shopping or whatever you guys do,” Hunter sat back in his chair, sipping again from his mug. 

“And why would _I_ want to resort to that stereotype? No offense, Kurt.” 

Kurt laughed noncomically, holding up his middle finger to Sebastian as he set the coffee in front of him. Kurt picked it up and took a long gulp, never more thankful for caffeine in his life. He had gotten drunk before, but whenever he did, Blaine was there to take care of him. Blaine who broke up with him. Blaine who left him for Eli. Kurt sighed and stared into the light brown liquid — a type of coffee he had never tasted and didn’t know the name of. He liked it, nonetheless. 

What Kurt didn’t see — caught in his musings — was the silent exchange Hunter and Sebastian shared, including gestures from Hunter about how Kurt was still hurting, with confused shrugs and quizzical eyebrow arches from Sebastian. Hunter clapped his hands together, loud enough to startle Kurt and wake the headache that had almost disappeared. He glared briefly at Hunter, but if the man took notice, he didn’t comment. “Because, dummy. Alcohol isn’t the only solution. You have to distract yourself from sad things. I think. I’ve never really been sad.” 

Sebastian picked up a pencil and chucked it at Hunter, who dodged it. However, it landed in his coffee, making a _plunk_ sound and causing coffee to splash over onto the table. Even Kurt got a chuckle out of it, but Hunter was obviously not very happy. “Sounds good to me. As long as Hunter’s the one paying.” 

“Deal.” 

“Sebastian!” 

\--- 

Kurt sighed and looked at the mannequin that stood in the window of the next shop. After about one hour of window shopping, Hunter got bored and told them he’d meet them at _Pretty. Odd._ , promptly handing Sebastian a $100 bill to pay for whatever Kurt wanted to buy. It was a nice gesture, but everything about New York reminded him of what was. 

Kurt knew it was silly to live in the past. Thinking about the past would end up bad, and it would forge thoughts he had vowed to get out of his head. He didn’t need that. But sometimes the past can sneak up on you, and tackle you to the ground with its haunting tales. It wasn’t fair, but if you thought about it, neither was the past. 

As Kurt stared at the mannequin some more — a red vest with high-water pants and a green bowtie on a faceless man — he felt something inside of him break. He didn’t know if it was his composure or his pride, but he suddenly felt dizzy and the next thing he knew, he was in the bathroom with Sebastian, sobbing into the man’s warm shoulder. 

Kurt had a fleeting sense of déjà vu. Their reunion had been held in a bathroom too, but this bathroom was cold and sterile. Kurt just felt out of place, out of mind and out of body. He wasn’t who he used to be, and it was so hard to recognize that. 

“Sh, sh, Kurt, Kurt, talk to me. Kurt!” 

Kurt snapped out of it and looked up at Sebastian. His eyes drifted down, down to the grey tiles and Sebastian's shoes right against his. Sebastian was holding him so close, like he might get away, which Kurt’s heart felt like it was already doing. Trying to be freed of the pain it felt. “Everything reminds me of him. It’s so stupid but–” 

Sebastian, hesitant at first, ran a hand through Kurt’s hair, accidentally pulling Kurt closer to his chest — his warm, strong chest — that Kurt just wanted to bury his face into. “Hey, no. It’s not stupid. You just got out of a long relationship and you’re hurt–” 

Kurt pulled away. Everything inside him screamed not to, to just stay with Sebastian where it was warm and safe in this scary world. But he was independent, and he needed to snap out of it. “And when will it stop hurting, huh? Am I supposed to wait? Give it time? I don’t have time, Sebastian! What do I do if I can’t get over him? Live like I’m not breathing for the rest of my life?” 

Silence filled the bathroom. Kurt sighed and fixed his hair. “I’m sorry.” He looked up to see Sebastian, red eyes looking at Kurt with a desperation that had Kurt’s knees buckling. “I’m sorry I have no idea what you’re going through. I’m sorry I can’t feel what you feel, and I’m sorry you can’t understand that time is okay. You don’t need to be on some schedule all the time. Time is something we make up to convince ourselves living is worth it, and I’m sorry you can’t see that. You’re so obsessed with time, why don’t you give yourself some?” 

Sebastian looked at Kurt. He wasn’t angry. He didn’t speak in an angry tone. His voice was soft and quiet, like he was afraid to say what Kurt couldn’t admit to himself. 

“I know you need this crazy schedule where you can’t miss a beat or you’ll go crazy but,” Sebastian's shoulders lifted and then dropped, “sometimes we need to just…stop. And take a break. Kurt, you need to take a break. The one thing that’s keeping you alive and on track is also _killing_ you.” Sebastian moved in to put his hands on Kurt’s shoulders. When the man didn’t shrug away from his touch, Sebastian smiled and moved in closer. “When was the last time you did something for the fun of it?” 

Kurt shrugged. He had to always be the responsible one. The one to take care of Blaine when he came home late, wasted or baked or — like that one time — _sopping wet and naked_. It was exhausting, Kurt admitted, but sometimes you had to make sacrifices for love. And boy did he. He gave Blaine his life, his heart, his trust, and the man stomped on everything. 

“Ah. Okay, plan. We’re going clubbing sometime. You, me, and Hunter. Trust me when I say, if he gets drunk enough, bi-curious is all he is.” 

Kurt giggled and nodded, and after a few seconds was joined by Sebastian, both of them staring at each other while their laughter died out. They were left grinning at each other in complete silence, until a man walked in. Both of them turned to him, and the man stopped dead in his tracks until he shuffled past both of them. 

Sebastian looked to Kurt and joined elbows with him as they made their way towards the next shop, the mannequin that had set Kurt off long forgotten. 


End file.
